Response: “I had
to delete your comment”
I’ve been
wanting to respond to your “I had to delete your comment” that you wrote after
I simply made a comment that Margie’s kids defriended me because they can’t
argue logically – leftism has no logic - ever since you said that, and to
respond to other things you have said or written regarding family relationships
in general in the past, and about me specifically, but my emotions run wild on
the issue, and to compile my thoughts in written form that won’t get me … or
cause me or anyone else unnecessary … isn’t so easy. First, I must thank you
for your support over the past few years, and then I must tell you of how the bizarre,
sociopathic, narcissistic nature your behavior is. But the words ‘you’ and
‘yours’ here generally refer to a specific group: Jeanine, Greg, Gene and
Valery, Andy, Esperanza and Tony and family, Dorothy, and Brian, mostly—all of
who I hope die a tortuous and early demise. I’ve never known you to read more
than a sentence or two or listen to anything I’ve ever had to say by any measure,
so I’ll be as quick as I can in order to retain your attention, providing
you’re still here.
I spent more
than 2 years on your floor, we went to get power breakfasts and went to numerous
movies together, we shared many meals together, I never showed envy or jealousy
by any measure at your level of wealth compared to mine—though I know
favoritisms were significant factors in your progress – and the lack of good
will toward me, and I also know that it is by a large part you’re abuse of an
insurance fraud scheme, but instead, I only showed appreciation to you, and yet
although I bonded with you, you didn’t bond with me. The interactional
transactions we had with each other could also be called kinds of prerequisites,
or an absence of prerequisites, for my successes or failures at that time. A
type of my sick obsession for the longing of proper relationships with family
on my part – and like Matt, it was never to be – and your obsessions with your
selfish selves. It killed him, and I escaped – and Cecilia escaped - but not
without being severely incapacitated. I am sure that it was many siblings who helped
to restrict family support for a select few of us over the years, and were
smitten with glee when that support was in their favor, and not in ours, and even
when I went away, but were dismayed that my tragedies weren’t worse. You tell
lies behind my back and are selective with your secrets you keep from me
(everyone supports my daughter’s child molester who threatened her life, and
maybe even mine, as well as his molestation of other daughters, and the “What
happens if Chris loses everything”), you tell my own brother that I am not to
be trusted – why, but you trust the others? Jealousy, because you’re of the
same age, and of the elite Nicaraguan class (you imply in a smug and dirty ways).
You didn’t see opportunities of my successes for me and for yourselves, you
felt a threat that needed to be contained or destroyed. The first thing I did
when I got my place was to invite all of you to dinner, but Gene cancelled past
the time he was due to come over for dinner, and I don’t remember anyone else
coming over. By the way, Mark, you say Gene takes high risks—do you know I had
zero prior knowledge of that, which you knew—Gene and I never did one thing
together—other than me taking his expensive computer trainings. Did you ever
come over? Here’s a woman that comes from one of the biggest shitholes in the
entire world, but yet, you only saw it from your flower garden, as I understand
you were part of the elite class. You would wish that misery on your one
relative only – who has never done anything against you, but had only been good
to you—and you offer favoritisms to everyone else. We used to say that talking
behind someone’s back was a bad thing. You picked sides, as you always have,
and you picked sides opposing me and my interests, as you always have, but even
worse, it was all in secret, as you always have. Your bonds broke with Gene and
family and Andy and family after all these years because your hypocrisies are
so extreme that even you guys can’t seem to accept the lies, or keep them
straight, and the dysfunctions outlast all of it. Like a mischief of rats, your
plundering of the soul is diabolical. I now think that it is your group that helped
kill Matt more than has been recognized, and helped put Cecilia in despair,
more than acknowledged, and me, more than you could want to consider, but
finally you kept me in the Will and Testament, as I know I was taken out more
than once, and have been compromised for the longest of time. It should have
been Greg’s inheritance that would have been redirected to Jennifer. You played
on our emotions and our desires to be a part of a family that will never be, and
you systematically rejected us and toyed with us in the most callous, malicious,
and quite frankly, evil of ways. For more than 2 years I heard you cry and throw
stammering attacks at ‘the fact’ that Cecilia and James lost their wealth
because they were stupid and didn’t listen to smart guys like you (I knew
nothing of that before I moved in.), and for months I heard you cry about “Why
does Chris get the good job?” Even though you’ve been sucking money from an
insurance fraud scheme forever, and haven’t worked for decades. Your disdain
for us is bizarre and inappropriate. If I would have known then what I had
known now, I never would have given you something from the Ukraine, and I would
have rather given my toolbox, worth more than a couple thousand dollars, to a
homeless person. I should have stopped coming over and trying to be a friend
early on after you guys knew I came into money. You don’t trust me, and certainly
that distrust should be reciprocated, shouldn’t it? Now I just see as you got
Matt’s statue was of sentimental value more like a trophy for a prize well
fought – his demise – from Mr. Redford, which sits in a gob of dust. Like that trophy,
you were able to con one from me from the Ukraine for your successful wish list
in my demise. You didn’t need to pry it from me because I was fully oblivious
to your true intentions and true nature. I’m not jealous, but furious. You’d
rather see me, at nearly 50 years of age, in trouble or on the streets than be
an equal, or a friend, to murder or do myself in than to see my standing reach a
non-desperate one for once in my life. You deceived dad and mom and all the
rest. Deception is your nature, and you’re evil. It’s pathetic to see you brag
about your economic stability on FB because most of it is stolen money from an
insurance fraud scheme, and it is narcissism at its very root. It’s not good
management of finances well earned, but good manipulation and distortions of
the facts. Well, that’s your choice, and I’ve never mentioned being jealous of
you for being supported by dad or your partnerships with him, or on your
wealth, and never was, but to say you guys are somehow financially successful
is not exactly the way I see it, but more of fraudsters who deserve your own
cages, and child molesters in your own right. I also know, using basic logical
deduction, that your influences over dad’s support and his lack of support was
calculating, so congratulations. And you turn these notions and say that I am the
one who is jealous if I rebuke anything you say in opposition to anything you
assert. It is you who proclaim and question that I must be jealous of these
imbalances. No, I am simply angry at the whole lot, and the betrayal of
sincerity. I tell you a secret about my girlfriend, you tell Andy – the “Morality
Man” – and he talks about me behind my back to you and to her– I still don’t
know what was said – but it was enough to break us up. I fall into a deep
depression—if you could only know of the losses I’ve sustained over the years,
but you could never know or never experience it. You knew I was depressed and
in need of someone. You even helped me reply to emails written in Spanish at
work, even though it wasn’t exactly policy—and you had no qualms about that. Then
Andy keeps these conversations against my good nature – if he loses everything
– secret. So, certainly your morality is selective and indicative of a
malevolent nature. Aunt Pris gives you the whole basket of money. Sure, it’s your
prerogative, but it wasn’t moral. It was selfish and indicative of all those
years of false – “cafeteria Christian” thinking. Surely you were aware that your
deceptions would excommunicate you and your family from the few left you
associated with, and you don’t care. And you came to My house, and I invited you
in– to say that the family wanted to help me now, but after I’m successful, you
says it’s ok if I lose everything at the age of nearly 50. You’d like to see
your 50 year old sibling homeless again? Jeanine of course would have been more
than happy to have me back at your house living for another few hundred bucks rent
every month after I lose “everything”—am I right? Imagine that word –
EVERYTHING. Imagine everything in your life – family, friends, and possessions,
your occupation and trainings – even your feelings of success – imagine that!
Imagine your love of life and achievements ripped from you. Now imagine the
word “Nothing”, which is the opposite of everything. Imagine Nothing in your
life. Would you accept that for yourselves or for any of your children, or
friends? Imagine your siblings working to make this threat go away so much that
everything becomes nothing. How many sleepless nights do you think you’d lose
from that predicament, which you did not give any reason whatsoever for? How
many sleepless nights do you think I’ve lost from knowing and trying to fathom
those contradictions? Imagine Tony writing to everyone to tell them – smearing
your good name from here to kingdom come – not to invite me to his wedding –
and I’m living across the Globe, and I’ve always felt something was odd about
him, that he was malicious and evil like Greg, even though he hadn’t done
anything I’m aware of. Imagine your brother and sister-in-law and all of his
siblings and children approving of such a notion, and all of those relatives
approving of such a notion and keeping it secret from you, and then lying about
it—church goers. Imagine all of these scumbags supporting your daughter’s child
molester and leaving you in the dark and cold about it simultaneously. There
are only 3 secrets this family has ever kept from me that I know of. Greg’s
fucking of my daughter and the other daughters—he’s a serial child rapist, and
you support it, but of course, it wasn’t your daughter—and he tells on me to
dad because I told a young lady on the dance floor at the Saddle Rack, the
“don’t tell him anything”’ lie, and the Tony writes a letter—and all his
siblings supporting the lie and its incoherent nature, which it was. But, I
know there were others—intentional discrimination against my person from
parents and siblings—and it was coordinated and intentional, even though, none
of you are more pure than I, you hypocritical bastards. At other times what was
supposed to be a secret was exposed because exposing it would hurt me, a good
thing in your evil eyes.
It is certainly clear
that I am no less intelligent than any of you, as I have demonstrated on many
occasions, but I’m certainly more gullible (psychologists and psychologists
call it “vulnerable” – at the abusive hands of others), lucky for this group, I
also have protective factors: Cecilia, Margie, Aileen and Kris, my students,
and Ildikó, and my promise to dad. I did
computers and Gene was jealous because I did it so well. I’ve learned Hungarian
pretty well, and now I’m learning Chinese, and maybe you’re envious of my
traits in this matter, and the trait to ‘survive’ in general. I’m horse riding
and I got a black belt in taekwondo years back. I’m a teacher of English and
Communications. The ironic thing about all of this is that I’m doing just about
the exact opposite things you’ve implied I can’t do, or suggest of is against my
character—things opposite to how you’ve defined my character, or that I have been
demeaned unworthy of respect. I’m teaching others to be more successful and
wiser than myself, as any good father, sibling, friend, business partner, or
teacher would feel the obligation to do. I teach doctors and lawyers, financiers,
and economists, and prominent business people, children and senior citizens,
and everyone else in between. I translate and proofread documents and books
that are published. I teach people the art of communication, as I am a
communications instructor now, and I must admit, a pretty good one. And all of
my latest works are diametrically opposing to any fuckin’ lying attributes you’ve
attached to me. Now I know what Matt
meant when he said that “Everything is a lie”.
An example of a
supportive family who knows the values.
(If you go to about
3:55, you’ll see the girl’s family applauding).
Imagine your
daughter getting fucked by your brother, a brother who is then supported by
your parents, and all his many siblings, and their kids—a brother who threatened
her with death if she told, and a brother—because you’re so fuckin’
gullible—you buy insurance from. Imagine your Nicaraguan sister-in-law claiming
that it’s Ok if you live in squalor, just like those pitiful scumbags she
despised in her own country, after living on her floor for two years, and
imagine that she got mad because you bought a motorcycle rather than leave. Imagine
her getting hysterical because you bring a friend to the house—a black friend. Imagine
the many inconsistencies and lack of …. Imagine your brother telling you that
you “need to see a warden” but the entire time supported and nurtured your
daughter’s molester. Imagine that you never see your kids, and grandkids. Imagine
your daughter having little to no education because she was kidnapped, abused
and raped by her mother’s side.
Talking behind
your back used to be frowned on, and for good reason. Andy isn’t the “Morality
Man”, but just the opposite. Evil has no bounds. It is sure that once all of
this has been exposed in the light that I would never want to be a part of any
of your sick games again. You’ve played the same scenarios over and over and I
could go back into our early childhood, and you’ve never matured, but I’m
closing now.
Now I’ve
survived, but it is doubtful I’ll die a … death. I just hope that those on my
list..that I can hear about their painful last days before my life ends. You
are the people who—and I know it was everyone—said that if I went to mom’s
funeral, that you wouldn’t go because you’re scared of me. If you were truly
scared of me, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You aren’t nice people and
you are about the worst type of siblings anyone could ask for. You’re closer to
evil than to anything I’d consider Christian-like. I am a survivor, and I must
learn better how to deal with such manipulative anti-everything-biblical fools.
I just found out
yesterday that Ildikó’s daughter had a baby – they had kept her pregnancy and
relationship secret from me the whole time. Why? Who the fuck can understand it?
Now I’m supposed to play the part of a grandfather, but I don’t think it should
work that way.
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